General Terror / ***Spumorish***

After the tragic death of Courtney Mathews Quartermaine Morgan Jacks almost Cassadine, the city of Port Charles was in desperate need of a copkilling machine to replace the blond angel. Head writer Bob Guza looked at his cast and wondered, which sweet female could I turn into an assassin?

«Carly» he said. No. She already shot Dr.Jones in open court.
«Skye maybe?» No. The woman has more balls than any man on the show.
«Emily» No. Soily did too much damage to her.
«Robin» No. Got to keep her ready for my controversial HIV baby storyline.
«Sam» No. She already killed more people than Sonny and Jason combined!
«Alexis» No. She already killed Luis and Sam's unborn baby.
«Lulu» Nope. Too much like Carly.
«Maxie» No. The little devil would sell her own mother for a piece of ass.
«Georgie» Who??

None of them were good enough for his plan. Thoughtful, Bob Guza looked again at his cast.

«There she is! How could I have missed her?»

Sweet nurse Webber. Kind, loyal, warm, generous, independent.

The woman who took Lucky back after his many screw ups.
The woman who saw good in Ric Lansing.
Zander's baby moma.
The woman who dragged in heels a bleeding to death Jason Morgan to her studio. She who performed surgery on his leg with a butter knife, a bic lighter, a revlon tweezer and a sewing needle. The one who saved Jason's life again.
The only woman worthy of carrying the golden child's golden child. She's a Saint.

«I shall destroy her» said Bob Guza with an evil grin.

Having Elizabeth lie for months to her husband about her ONS and her baby's true paternity isn't enough. It's time to turn her into a cop killer.

I present you General Hospital's new mob enforcer:


You all better stay away from my man! Watch out Lucky!

A SPOILER driving me nuts

Do not read if you are spoiler free.

It's rumored that after giving birth, Liz slips into a coma. There are 2 points I'd like to mention regarding this spumor:

1) I wasn't that far off when I said Liz would die during childbirth. Somehow, I pictured Liz giving birth in some remote place (kidnapped by Lo?) with Jason arriving just in time to help. Then, she loses too much blood and loses consciousness (not a coma). In the happy ending version of my intuition, Liz was rushed to the hospital and woke up the next day. They all lived happily ever after except for Lucky & Sam. In the grim version, Liz died leaving Jason and Sam to raise her child, which brings me to my second point:

2) While Liz is in a coma, if Sam gets her sluty hands on Liz's baby, Sam will need to DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Die. Die. Die.

DIE!

That's all.

Is it sweeps yet???

My gawd this show is boring between sweeps.

Next week on General Hospital:

Sonny buys all the toilet paper manufactures in the US & A and becomes the sole distributor in the country. Carly sleeps with Sonny so the Metro Court can have TP for it’s bungholes.

Jason struggles with his decision.

Elizabeth feels guilty and sends him a flask of amniotic fluids.

Lucky still doesn’t have a clue.

Lulu wants to tell the truth to Lucky but is afraid he’ll go back to drugs since she has no faith in her brother.

Carly kisses Jax. They go to dinner in exotic Ottawa.

Sam wears a tacky dress and a ridiculous hairdo for a TV show.

In a bizarre twist, Nikolas and Robin pretend they’re together as Mr.Craig blackmails them. Why is Mr.Craig blackmailing Nikolas? The autor of this blog has no f.ucking clue since she FF all their scenes.

Carly sleeps with Jax but still wants Sonny.

Mr.Craig acts friendly with Alexis. Alexis fans, desperate for her to have sex again before she dies, are pimping C&A on every soap boards.

Logan, Cooper and Maxie blackmails Scott in broad daylight in a public place, Kelly’s. Georgie and Mike pour coffee in the background. KS wonders why the hell he came back to GH.

Carly sleeps with Sonny.

Lulu goes on a date with Milo, Spinelli and Dillon but she really wants Logan. Lulu takes off her bra and officially becomes Mini-Carly.

Tracy talks to Alan’s ghost untill fan hate mail over SD firing drops.

Lorenzo vows to get revenge on Sonny. Skye packs her bag for Pine Valley.

Carly barges in Jason’s penthouse. Carly tells Jason she’s sleeping back and forth with Jax and Sonny. The viewers are nauseous. Jason tells Carly to keep her knees together.

Patrick goes back to jungle to find a mate.

The DA of Darkness, Ric, hatches another EVIL plan to destroy Sonny.

Jason flushes the amniotic fluids down the toilet.

Michael orders a hit on Jax to reunite his mom & dad, and to get his hands on Alan’s cash.

Sam cries.

The Jackal tries to convice Stone Cold to reveal the secret of Little Stone Cold even if it would hurt The Goddess while The Blond One doesn’t want the truth to come out in order to protect The Deceived One. Capiche?

Alexis and Mr.Craig bicker. Alexis fans confuse bickering with flirting. They imagine chemistry and are ready to ruin another hot man with the frigid a$$ lawyer. Beside, Mr.Craig only shot Robin and held a bunch of innocent people hostage, it’s nothing compared to what Ric has done to Alexis...

Carly doesn’t know who to pick between Jax and Sonny.

In other news, Madonna is still the Queen of the Universe. I want something from the M collection, a dress , shoes, a handbag, anything!